Make your fears work for you — My first love cheated on me with a classmate. It was soul-crushing. There were signs of course. In retrospect, they were laughably obvious with the benefit of decades of romantic failure behind me. An uncharacteristic desire to spend her evenings alone or with friends. She began guarding her phone, even…

Why pen names are an underrated tool for the online writer — Hi. My name is James, and I have a tragic confession to make. My surname isn’t Nelmondo. James Nelmondo is my nom de plume, an online persona I use to write about the subjects of mental health and relationships here on Medium. But it’s not all I write about, and…

Do you recognize what you see in the mirror? — Stare at your reflection in the mirror. What is it you see exactly? Is it your shadowy twin? A darker, distorted, awkward version of how you envision yourself. How about your personality? Do people react the way you expect them to? Do they perceive you the way you perceive yourself…

Stop being a relationship masochist and help your partner out — Whenever someone tells me how their fledgling relationship is magically in sync, so wonderfully aligned in every way, my first thought is always that the partner not doing the talking is biting the bullet. Why do I say this? Why lay a spoke of doubt in what appears to be…

If you can’t discipline yourself, life will gladly do it for you — I moved back into my mother’s apartment when I became severely ill. She was more than happy to cradle my fearful, broken psyche in her arms, and I selfishly rejoiced at no longer having to work my free time to pay the rent. I was finally able to focus on…

Because it’s your journey too — This is for the caregivers. A compilation of tips stemming from my time caring for my mother as she slowly, and inexorably succumbed to dementia. This is a summary of my view from the trenches, and how I learned how to cope despite the impossible pressure. Hopefully, here among my…

Humor is an underrated tool to help contain catastrophic thinking — There’s a man on the ground, surrounded by a crowd of bewildered commuters. He’s pale and cold to the touch. which seems odd given that he’s also sweating like a sinner in church. That man is me. And if you look closely, despite the hooded eyes and ashen complexion, you…

Life isn’t a movie — They say writing helps bring the dark into the light. If so, I can only pray that the recounting of the last months of my mother’s life shines a light on the anger and guilt that drive these keystrokes. My mother’s journey is at an end, but I can’t help…

Complacency will destroy relationships faster than insecurity ever will — I was perfectly confident in the resilience of my last relationship right up until the moment she broke up with me. There were signs, of course. Hundreds of them. But I loved her, and she loved me, and that’s all that really matters. Wrong. In my ex’s case, our love…